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           23 November 2005 8:06pm                                                    

Will I ever get used wearing sandals year round? Will I ever get used to buying groceries next to soldiers with automatic machine guns? Will I ever get used to almost each day being high 70s and sunny? Will I ever get used to seeing goats on the way to class?

           22 November 2005 7:00pm                                                    

The Kenyan government attempted in a vote yesterday to draft a new constitution. Kenya has the same British-given constitution that it has used since its independence in 1960 something. Over the past two months I've been in them middle of much political hype. For the illiterate voters, the drafters made the banana symbolize 'yes' and the orange symbolize 'no', so this whole orange vs banana has been everywhere. Anyways, its over today. Kenyans rejected the proposed constitution.

Its been interesting being in the middle of a political vote that I have no part in. Since I'm registered with the US Embassy they flood my email with warnings of new rallys. They emailed US citizens and told us that rallys have occaisionally targeted foreigners because mzungus have been suspected of financially funding opposing parties. When I went to Kibera slum awhile back, I found myself near a smaller 'YES!' banana rally. All of these Kenyans with banana t-shirts were loading onto this flat bed semi with all these bullhorns. They were tossing bananas to each other and dancing. As the truck began to drive away on its mission of political convincement, it backed up over a bunch of its own supporters. Nobody was hurt, but a bunch of people got knocked down. I remember quickly walking in a direction thankfully away from the rally.

           21 November 2005 7:40pm                                                    

Ok. Ok. I'm done. I tried co-existing with the bats. I really did. I put a good effort into them living in the ceiling above me. I was supposed to sleep there and they were supposed to hang upside down or whatever, and nobody was supposed to bother anybody. The goal was nature and mankind side by side in a harmonious living situation. It was supposed to be all circle of life, Simba and Nala and Rafiki, but that dream is over. I'm through. This is the last night I am woken up at 2/3/4am to their ballyhoo: the shuffling, squeaking, squealing, whatever else they do. Sorry guys. You might think you're super special, being a mammal that can fly, but I can talk. And I've informed the grounds keeper about your shenanigans. The party is over.

           19 November 2005 9:05pm                                                    

"Before we had stifled the cross into a symbol, before we had softened grace into a sentiment, before we had systematized the power and mystery of God's greatest revelation of Himself into a set of dogmas, we were the children that we must again become." - Rich Mullins

Walking on the way to the library is when it happened. Its funny: how the things that touch you most can come without asking or pursuing. But, on the way to the library, I watched two little boys playing, maybe four years old. One of them tripped on the rough path, and busted into tears. The other, and this made me freeze and stare, the other reached down and gently picked the first one up. The one boy wrapped his little arms around the other boy as far as they could go, pulled his little head tight against his own, and just held him. Held him until he stopped crying. Then, as the tears slowed, the boy softened his tight embrace and slowly let go. They linked hands, and kept walking down the path. It was the purest simplest compassion I've witnessed here in Kenya. It made me feel less than them.

           18 November 2005 8:30pm                                                    

Today a massive amount of work has been sorted through. Amazing how much ridiculous data you can collect about an obscure ten verse section - 1Samuel 2:1-10 Hannah's song.

The most amazing part of today was small group. We talked about growing up. Kaleb explained to us how he used to herd sheep and goats. Apparently, he remembers getting so frustrated milking goats as a child, since the goats were so fidgity. He would finally get some milk in the pail and the goat would kick it over. So he would have to mix water with the milk, or else get in trouble with his mother, making sure to leave the house before she took her first sip of tea. He got in big trouble one time when his goats got out and climbed up in the fruit trees of his neighbors and ate all their fruit, and then climbed down and ate clothes off their clothesline.

When he would herd sheep, and a sheep would get lost from the group, he would be notified by the distant bleeting. He had a song his father taught him that he would sing. The sheep, who knew his voice, could follow the song back to the group.

Yeah, I could have been a shepherd. I could have had a crookt staff and a slick sheep song. Would've beat Hermann's. I could have avoided those awful tinfoil swans.

           17 November 2005 7:21pm                                                    

Children, throughout the day, were hammering bottle caps on the cement landing in front of the building. Caps of all the sodas here: Coke and the regulars, plus Stoney's, Fanta, and Krest. Their little foreheads were all furrowed and their eyes determined and focused. They acknowledged my greeting, and went back to the metal caps, perhaps a little disturbed.

Constant brown out today. Enough to reduce the single bulb in the ceiling to an orange/brown glow. Night combined with the bulb to turn the room into something spooky.

Tomorrow is the last day of class for the semester. I committed myself to the first semester to test this school, finishing it out no matter what. I was to see if it all was worth it or if I should change the return flight date and come home, but I say with honestly that it would be an honor to be here three years.

           16 November 2005 8:44pm                                                    

The hardships I am facing here are not impeding, but very definite. This Thanksgiving/Christmas period will be the first without my family (the first without candy in my stocking/wooden shoe), and the dates are invisible and dreaded. These difficulties here are echoed by my fellow students. I'll have a difficult day where I miss my mothers smile and my fathers good nature, and the very next day I talk to Julian who hasn't been home in seven years. He remarks this fact with calamity. The plane back to DRCongo is $600 round trip, and he barely has enough money here to eat, so how can he even think of going back? And his story is not uncommon. Paul hasn't been back to see his family in Cote de Ivore for seven years. And how he smiles...

And its easy to feel the tangle, the entrapment and the pins beneith my feet, if think too much about it all. But, in the end, coming here and being cut loose from that support is worth it all to discover this Lover of my Soul. I come back to the room and see the Easter picture of my family on the lawn with the puppy in my sister's arms and my brother wearing the shirt he gave me, and it clenches my mind and hesitates my step. I miss my family. But this had to happen. No way around it. He has whispered and I gotta follow and that's how it is.

And so Heaven is more than eternal life, its eternal unity with those who we've seperated from. So the lump in my throat isn't for nothing, and that satisfaction is not far away.